Falling Is Like This
by Onlyphoebe
Summary: It's been 3 years since that rainy night when Brennan confessed her feelings to Booth. What if she had gone home, packed her bags, & left town? What if Booth had been unwilling or unable to find her? What if fate brought them back together, 3 years later?
1. Prologue

**A/N~ It's been 3 years since that rainy night when Brennan confessed her feelings to Booth. This is my first Bones fic ever, and my first fan fic since the late 90's (and some really horrible Dawson's Creek fics!) Each chapter will contain selected lyrics from Ani Difranco. I figured I might as well pair my favorite musician with my favorite show. Enjoy, and please review!  
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**I do not own Bones or any rights to anything, including the lyrics in this chapter, which are from"Knuckle down" by Ani DiFranco.**

**

* * *

Prologue   
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_i think i'm done gunnin to get closer_

_to some imagined bliss_

_i gotta knuckle down_

_and just be ok with this_

_i'm gonna knuckle down_

_just be ok with this_

_'course that star struck girl is already someone i miss…_

Brennan wiped the mixture of rain and tears from her face, staring at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She moved back, leaning up against the bathroom wall, and then slowly sinking down to the floor.

She felt like she was drowning.

All the events of the past year running through her mind, she felt powerless, and she hated that feeling most of all.

She sat there, knees pulled up under her chin and face rested in her hands for hours as she went through the options before her.

When she finally could no longer stand another moment in her damp clothing, she pulled herself up and walked to the bedroom to change.

She slowly removed her clothing, as if she was peeling away the memories of the evening. She dug through her closet looking for her favorite jeans and a comfortable sweater. Once fully dressed, she picked her luggage up from the bottom of her closet and started packing.

It took several hours to go through her entire apartment, making sure she had everything she needed. She then spent the next hour carefully packing up her car, arranging each suitcase and box to make the best use of space. When she was finished, it was nearly daylight.

She stood in the middle of her apartment, circling around once more to make sure she had not forgotten anything.

She pulled out her cell phone and dialed Cam's number. When it went straight to voicemail, she sighed in relief and carefully spoke her resignation. She apologized for the abrupt manor in which she was leaving and then paused; "… and Cam, please, don't look for me" her voice breaking midway through.

After she placed her phone back into her pocket, she turned off each light and headed to the door, car keys in hand. As she locked the door behind her, a wave of relief rushed over her, and for the first time in awhile she felt like she could breathe.

_…..i swear some stuff you just see better from further away_

_and i think i communicate best now, the less i say….._


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N~ Chapter one starts out 3 years from episode 06x09. Please review! Thanks Lyrics in this chapter from "Reckoning" by Ani DiFranco.**

**Chapter 1**

_we thought we left possession behind_

_but truth is i was yours and you weren't mine_

_and now i've replayed a thousand times_

_exactly what was said_

_cuz nothing is as it appears_

_in the funhouse mirrors of your fears_

_on the roller coaster of all these years_

_with your hands above your head…_

Brennan stretched out on her couch and shifted her laptop over onto the coffee table. Her mind was running blank with concern to her newest book, which was supposed to be finished before the month was up. She sat up, yawning, and took a sip of coffee. It was already sometime past midnight, and she had an enormous amount of work to get done.

Her writer's block had been getting worse over the past few months. Initially, she thought it may have had something to do with her lack of external stimuli. She rarely spoke to anyone, and her friends here in North Carolina were kept at a distance, for both her sake and their own. She spent most days at home writing, and several times a week she would walk down to the town's only bar for a drink and a bit of casual banter with the attractive young bartender.

She had spent most of her first year in her new home traveling abroad, both participating in archeological digs and lecturing at various speaking engagements around the world. After a particularly long and tiring trip to Spain, she had decided to take some time off and concentrate of her writing. That had been nearly 2 years ago, and she had published 3 books in that time.

At first, her writing had been almost therapeutic. While she was completely aware that her exodus from Washington DC had been on her own accord, she still felt a great amount of pain over the loss of what now felt like an entirely different life. She mourned that version of Temperance Brennan, accepting the fact that she had lived many lives, and that life was over.

Since leaving, she had spoken to Angela on 4 occasions, the latest being months ago, on her daughter Piper's 2nd birthday. She had called Angela to verify that Piper's birthday gift had arrived. Angela had kept her on the phone for hours, asking numerous questions that Brennan refused to answer. Her friendship with Angela was strained, and Brennan assumed that it most likely never would be mended. Even Angela did not know where she lived. She had made certain to cover her tracks. She rented a home, used only an untraceable cell phone, and had her mail delivered to a postal box over 200 miles away, which she retrieved on the weekends. In the beginning, this had all felt necessary. Now that time had passed it felt almost silly, but it had become habit so she felt no reason to change.

She often sat and wondered if he had ever looked for her. She used to have nightmares in which she would be sitting out on her patio, enjoying the cool evening breeze, when a black SUV would pull into the driveway below her, and she knew there was nowhere she could run. Those had gone though, and now she rarely dreamed of him at all.

She did however spend countless hours imagining what his life must now be life. She assumed he must now be married to Hannah, most likely they had decided to have a child, maybe a younger sister for Parker. She had told Angela once, the first time they had spoken, that she had no interest in knowing anything about Booth's life. While that was quite a stretch of the truth, she did that only to protect her own sanity. If she knew no one would tell her anything, she would have to just be content knowing that he was happy; most of the time this was enough for her.

Brennan awoke to the sun streaming in through the bay window in her living room, the warm rays hitting her right in the eyes. She sat up and glanced around, realizing that she had once again passed out while working. It had become a regular occurrence lately.

She shut her laptop and stood up, folding the blanket she had been cuddled beneath and placing it back on the side of the couch.

It looked to be a beautiful day outside, and she felt like she really needed to take a walk and get out of the house.

After making coffee and filling her travel cup, Brennan got dressed and fixed her hair into a ponytail. Grabbing a jacket and her cell phone, she walked outside, slamming the door behind her. She certainly did not miss the cold DC winters.


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N~ This chapter will cover a bit of what has been going on with the rest of the team since Brennan left. I am also getting into some actual dialogue instead of just a third person point of view. Unfortunately, dialogue is my downfall :P Let me know what you guys think! We are moving closer to the exciting stuff :)  
**

**Lyrics in this chapter from "hell yeah" by Ani DiFranco.**

**Chapter 2**

_life is a b movie_

_it's stupid and it's strange_

_a directionless story_

_and the dialogue is lame_

_but in the he said she said_

_sometimes there's some poetry_

_if you turn your back long enough_

_and let it happen naturally…_

Booth shuffled his feet under the table at the diner. They were late. Of course they were late…. they always were. Even though they no longer worked together, Booth met a few of the old team from the lab at the diner every Thursday for lunch. They had been doing it for several years now, as a way to keep in touch and not lose track of each other.

Glancing at his watch, he heard who could only be Piper calling for him "Boof! Boof!" squealed the little girl, who was looking more and more like her mother every day.

"Sorry we're late Booth, Piper decided she would get into my nail polish while I was in the shower" said Angela, dropping her purse into the seat. Piper giggled and held up her hands which were a rainbow of pinks and purples, covering most of her skin from her wrists to the tips of her fingers.

Booth laughed and stood up to grab a highchair from the corner for Piper.

"Hodgins won't be here today, he isn't feeling well, and I think it might be the flu".

Booth brought the highchair up to the end of the table and picked up Piper, placing her in the seat while Angela reached over to buckle the strap.

"That sucks, tell him I hope he feels better."

Angel nodded. "Piper, what do you want to eat for lunch?" she asked the toddler, who was currently fascinated with Booth's cell phone.

" Frenss fys!" said Piper, slamming the cell phone down onto the table. Booth laughed and picked it up; handing her the toy Angela had just set on the table.

"So, Angela, how have you guys been doing?"

Angela smiled and started twirling a piece of her hair "Great! I never thought I could handle being a stay at home mom, but I love it. I thought I would be bored out of my mind, but Piper always keeps me on my toes".

Booth laughed and looked down at the table. "Have you…. heard from her lately?" he questioned, keeping his eyes fixed on the menu in front of him.

"No, it's been almost 6 months. She wouldn't tell me anything Booth."

Booth nodded. "I thought I had a lead on her a few weeks ago. Down in Texas, but it turned out to be Terry Brennan, not Temperance."

"Oh honey" said Angela, reaching over and squeezing his hand. She knew good and well that Brennan was not in Texas, in fact, she had convinced Hodgins to hire a private detective last year. After several months of searching, they had discovered that she was currently living in North Carolina, although they could not pinpoint the exact town. At first, she had wanted to tell Booth, send him down there searching for her, to sweep her off her feet and bring her back to DC where they could all be happily together again, without the frequent little reminders that _someone_ was missing. But, then she had slept on the idea and realized that regardless of how little she heard from her friend, she should respect her right to stay hidden. So, she had slipped the PI's folder of information under some of their personal records in the safe and promised to forget about it.

"I'll just take a piece of pie" said Booth, which excited Piper, causing her to chant "Pie! Pie! Pie!" until Angela ordered a piece for her and her daughter as well.

Angela always felt horrible at these lunches. She could see the pain that Booth still felt over losing Brennan. It had been the start to a horrible sequence of events for him. That first morning Brennan had not shown up at the lab, Cam had played her voicemail message for Angela, looking for advice on what to do next. Angela had called Booth, suspecting that something must have happened the night before. When she told Booth, he broke down and told her of the previous night's events.

That had started a month long search for Brennan that turned up absolutely nothing. Brennan did not use credit cards, so that was useless, and all of her mail was being forwarded to a post office box in Tennessee. They could not find any records of any new bills in her name, and it seemed she was using cash for everything, because she was completely off the radar.

After a few months, they kept hitting dead ends. Then, about a month and a half after she disappeared, Angela got a call. Brennan explained that she simply had to get away. She sounded distant and emotionless on the phone. She refused to tell Angela where she was staying, but promised that she was fine and that she would stay in contact.

2 weeks later, Booth proposed to Hannah.

She said no. Not only did she say no, she told him that she was heading back to Afghanistan because being a White House reporter was not nearly as exciting or challenging as she had previously thought. And, within a week she was gone.

The following month, the FBI transferred Booth to the FBI Counterterrorism Division and cut ties with the Jeffersonian. Angela was without a job and Hodgins talked her into staying home with soon to be born Piper. Cam went to work with the CSI division of the DC Police, and Hodgins went to work for the in-house research arm of the U.S. Department of Agriculture. The interns had all long since been passed on to others in the field, and Sweets continued to work for the FBI.

While Angela tried to keep positive about everything, she truly felt like she was a member of a family that had been ripped apart. Luckily, she had Hodgins and Piper to distract her and keep her busy; Booth wasn't so lucky.

* * *

-

Booth pulled his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door to his apartment. He walked in and set his gym bag down on the counter, opening the fridge and pulling out a beer. He took off his jacket and threw it over the couch, unbuttoning his shirt as he reached for the remote.

Another night of sitting in front of the TV, wishing he could change the past.

He took a drink from the bottle and set it down on the coffee table. He then began his nightly ritual of going through the files and information he had collected on Bones since she had left. He had seriously started to doubt his own ability to find her after the 2nd year had passed, and now that the 3rd year mark had come and gone, he was at the point of giving up hope. Sitting on the coffee table next to the files were her 3 newest books. He had combed over them, reading each line twice and trying to read in-between the lines, hoping for a clue on where she was. He had already tried to reach her publisher, hoping that maybe they had an address for her, but even after he had played the FBI card, he had still gotten only the PO Box in Tennessee. He had actually considered just taking a leave of absence and sitting in front of that post office for a few weeks, but his better judgment kicked in, and he knew that was most likely crossing some sort of line.

He knew he would regret every decision he had made that year for the rest of his life. Standing on the steps that night he had known that she felt something for him, something more than friends. He had seen it in her eyes. If only he had been more persuasive about her staying, if only he had turned down the Army and begged her to stay in DC, continue to be a team…. He had no doubt in his mind that she would have realized her feeling for him.

Instead he had to run away, not just away, but into the arms of Hannah, who as beautiful, feisty, and intelligent as she was; was not Bones. He had known that; he knew it when he had proposed to her. But, something inside of him felt broken, felt like he just could not handle losing even one more person who meant so much to him. So, he took the plunge, against his better judgment, and she left too.

Booth kicked the coffee table, sending his beer, the books, and a multitude of files flying across the living room as the table fell over on its side. "Damn!" he screamed, jumping up and trying to grab the bottle of beer, which was steady flowing out onto a photo of Bones and himself, taken years ago at a Christmas party.

He turned the bottle upright and grabbed the picture, blotting the beer from the print on his pants. He surveyed the damage, expecting the picture to be ruined but it appeared to be ok. He got up and walked into the kitchen and held the picture up to the front of his fridge, using a small magnet to hold it in place. Stepping back he sighed; opened the door to the fridge and pulled out a container of apple juice. Container in hand, he grabbed his jacket off the couch, ignoring the pile of beer soaked papers, and headed to the bathroom for a shower.

* * *

-

The next morning, Booth got to his office early. It was Friday, and his weekend with Parker, so he hoped to leave as early as possible. He really needed the distraction.

As interesting as the counterterrorism division may sound, it was misleading. He spent much more time at his desk now, researching and making phone calls, working with contacts and taking notes.

Booth was online looking up movie times for the evening when his phone rang.

"Agent Booth, this is Agent Robinson from the Charlotte FBI Field Office. I understand you were working on the Bryan Roberts case?"

"Yes, actually I was just getting ready to call my contact in Florida. I think we may have a new lead" said Booth, quickly closing out of the movie website.

"No need, we have a lead right here in Charlotte. He was spotted leaving a local hotel last night. He wasn't alone; it appears he has teamed up with several others. This really isn't lookin' good. We have heard several different mentions of an impending attack from our informants. We need to figure out what exactly is going on, and we need to do it soon."

Booth could hear the desperation in the agent's voice.

"Well, Robinson, I can send you everything I have on him. I…" The agent cut him off. "Agent Booth, I would really prefer it that you come on down here and help us get this guy. I know it's coming up on the weekend, but I wouldn't ask if it wasn't urgent".

Booth sighed and rolled his pen across his desk.

"Ok, let me talk to the director, and I will call you back in a few minutes."

Agent Robinson thanked him and hung up. Booth picked up the phone and called the Director, hoping for an easy excuse to stay in DC. He had not seen Parker in 3 weeks and they had both been looking forward to this weekend.

Unfortunately, the Director felt it was best that he head on down to assist with the investigation. Pulling out his cell phone to call Rebecca, he grabbed the case files on his desk and headed out.

He would be spending the weekend in North Carolina.


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N~ Ok! Thank you to those who have left reviews! I am trying to make these chapters a bit longer, so this one goes back and forth between Brennan's and Booth's perspectives. Please let me know your ideas, opinions, and thoughts on this story! Reviews mean the world to me!**

**This chapter's lyrics come from "anticipate" by Ani DiFranco.**

**Chapter 3**

_we don't say everything that we could_

_so that we can say later_

_oh, you misunderstood_

_i hold my cards up_

_close to my chest_

_i say what i have to_

_and i hold back the rest..._

It was Friday afternoon and Brennan was feeling a bit antsy. This happened sometimes, usually after hours of writing. She had been working on her book all morning and she did not feel as though she could type one more word. She closed her laptop and stood up from her desk, heading towards the kitchen for a drink. One look in the refrigerator and she knew that she needed to make a trip to the grocery store. Besides condiments and salad mix, she had only milk and 4 day old leftover Thai.

After changing her clothes and brushing her hair, she grabbed her keys and headed out the door.

The drive into town was always breathtaking. Brennan like to think that she had seen many of the most beautiful places in the world, but having such magnificent scenery right outside her front door was somehow more meaningful.

After a quick trip to the store, Brennan made her way back up the mountain to her home. She brought in the groceries and fixed herself a bowl of vegetable soup. After she finished, she laid down on the couch for nice afternoon nap.

~x~

Booth had run by his apartment to pack a quick bag and was on the road by mid morning. It was now nearing mid afternoon and he was right outside of Charlotte.

He had been in contact with Agent Robinson several times during the drive. One of the local agents had tracked their suspect about an hour away to the small town of Tryon, North Carolina. He was to meet Robinson at the Charlotte field office to go over the case files and then they were heading down to Tryon to see what they could find. According to Robinson, the town of Tryon had only a handful of residents and a police force of exactly one.

Booth pulled into the Charlotte office around 4pm and headed up to find Robinson, case files in hand.

The two men went over the files and compared notes. Bryan Roberts was a known domestic terrorist that was allegedly responsible for bombing two different political rallies in Georgia. He had been on the run for a few years and Booth had inherited the case when he was moved to the counterterrorism division.

"I don't know Booth; I am still at a loss here. I have no idea who he could have joined up with, but all evidence points to him always working alone"

Booth nodded and confirmed "Exactly what I was thinking… we have no evidence here that shows him being involved with any of the other known local groups. But with this huge political rally coming up in Atlanta, I think we need to figure out what this guy is doing."

"What I don't get is why in the hell he would be down in Tryon; that's the middle of nowhere, literally."

Booth nodded. "If it's that far off the radar, it sounds like the kind of place a terrorist group would love to call home."

Robinson sighed and collected their files, placing them into his briefcase. "Well, you ready to hit the road? "

The ride down was beautiful, but the winding roads were making Booth a tad but nauseous. When they got into the small town, Robinson directed him to what looked to be a very small home, until he saw the sign out front claiming itself as the Tryon Sheriff's Office. Booth had to laugh at this dinky little building. Robinson eyed him, and Booth started whistling as they walked up the brick walkway to the front door.

The town's sheriff, who simply went by Harvey, was more than happy to let the agents have full access to anything he had, which wasn't much. He didn't know anything about Bryan Roberts, and when he asked why they were looking for him, he nearly fell out of his chair laughing "terrorists? Here? You must have lost your minds! What are they gonna do, blow up the ol' Jackson Mill?"

Booth gave Robinson a look that could only mean "let's get the hell out of here" and Robinson turned and thanked Harvey for his time. The two agents left to go check out the town.

The first thing Booth noticed is that there was _nothing _here. A grocery store that looked to have been built before he was born and not updated since, several small restaurants, a few gift shops, a coffee shop, a pharmacy and a bar whose sign was so old, you could no longer read what it said.

The agents parked on Main Street and walked into the coffee shop. There were several teenagers there, but no one matching the description of Bryan Roberts or his friends. They decided to sit outside the coffee shop and observe the town a bit; after all it seemed that everyone in town would come through here at some point.

"I could live out here" said Robinson, drinking a sip of coffee. "I bet everyone knows everyone" he said, chuckling.

Booth started to comment, but then he realized something "Robinson, is there even a hotel IN this town?"

"Only the bed and breakfast over on Mill Street; it's just right over there, past that Pharmacy, up on the hill. You can't miss it, biggest building in town."

Booth smiled "Sounds like fun!" he said sarcastically.

"Actually, I think I am going to head on over for the night" said Robinson. "It's been a long day and it's dark now, we won't get anything done till morning."

Booth took his keys out of his pocket and tossed them to Robinson. "Go ahead and take the SUV over, I am going to hang around down here for awhile, I'll walk up there in a little bit".

Robinson took the keys and headed for the vehicle "You sure? I don't mind walking up myself."

"Na, go ahead, I'm going to walk over to the bar and get a drink."

Robinson pulled out and headed down the road for the Bed & Breakfast and Booth pulled out his cell phone to give Parker a call.

~x~

Brennan awoke rather suddenly to the sound of her cell phone ringing. She glanced at the clock and realized quickly that it was already evening. She stretched and ran her fingers through her hair as she looked around for her cell phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi Temperance, its Molly from next door; there is something wrong with the water pressure in our well again, do you mind if I drag your garden hose over here so I can fill up a few gallons of water?"

"That would be fine Molly" said Brennan, yawning.

"Thank you ma'am, I'll make sure one of the kids pulls it back over to your yard when we're done."

"No problem, good luck with your well" Brennan flipped her phone closed and went and sat down on the couch. She was bored, and although she seemed to normally be able to find things to do to occupy her time, when the weekend rolled around she always felt a bit lonely.

She stood up and headed for the bathroom. She had a bit of a tradition on nights like this. She would shower, put on more makeup than necessary, and dress in something that was just a bit revealing. Then she would walk down to the bar and hang out with the bartender, Robby. Usually Robby kept her entertained for several hours between pouring her shots of Tequila and challenging her to games of pool.

After her shower, she did her makeup and went to the bedroom to find something to wear. She decided on a black knee length dress that was just slightly low cut. After she had finished getting ready, she grabbed her bag and headed out the door.

~x~

Booth finished his call with Parker, promising him that next weekend would just be the two of them, doing whatever Parker wanted to do. He stood up and stuck his phone back in his pocket and headed over toward the bar.

It was exactly as he had expected; slightly grungy and dark, with more than a few randomly placed neon signs advertising different brands of beer. The ceiling was covered in American flags, tacked up, with a few Budweiser banners mixed in. There were a handful of seats at the bar, a few tables in the front, and a few pool tables in the back by a very old jukebox. There were at least 20 people crowded around the pool tables in the back, all obviously very interested in whatever competition they currently had going on. Booth sat down at the bar and looked around for the bartender, who seemed to be missing in action.

A few minutes later a young guy came around the corner from the back and approached him.

"What'll it be?" He asked, giving Booth a sideways glance.

"Jack and Coke" sad Booth, his eyes fixated on the college football game playing on the TV hanging to one side of the bar.

"You aren't from around here are ya" said the bartender, setting his drink down in front of him.

Booth looked up at him and then picked up his drink, ignoring the comment and turning his attention back to the football game.

~x~

Brennan stood in the back of the room, leaning over the pool table. Two men on the other side of the table both let out gasps as she continued to beat their friend who had bragged about being the best in town.

"I am quite good at this game, I play here often and Robby has taught me everything he knows!" said Brennan

Robby laughed "That's my girl, whoop his ass Temp!"

Brennan pocketed the 8 ball and the crowd around the table erupted.

"Now come get a drink Temp, I got a double shot of Tequila with your name on it!" said Robby, grabbing an already slightly inebriated Brennan by the arm and dragging her towards the bar.

Brennan took a seat at her usual place all the way at the end of the bar. Robby brought over two double shots and counted down from 3 before they both downed them simultaneously. Brennan laughed and picked up her soda from earlier to chase the burn.

"Robby, I would like some cheese fries, if you don't mind" said Brennan, noticing how empty her stomach felt in spite of the drinks she had consumed in the last hour. Robby nodded and headed to the back to fix her some fries.

Brennan lost herself in her thoughts for a few minutes, staring off into space. Robby kicked her back into reality when he set the cheese fries down in front of her.

"Just the way you like 'em Temp, no bacon and extra mustard!"

Brennan thanked him and started eating. She looked up over towards the door and notice something, or more precisely, someone across the bar who seemed rather out of place. He eyes fell first on his attire, which was obviously a black dress suit. She felt something somewhat familiar about this particular stranger, but she could not put her finger on it. She blinked a few times and stared at the man's back. She shook her head and glanced down at the fries in front of her. Her eyes had to be playing tricks on her most likely due to the large amount of alcohol in her system.

"Robby!" she yelled, leaning up over the bar a bit.

Robby came over and she whispered in his ear "Find out that man's name".

Robby walked over to the other side of the bar and Brennan stared as he conversed with the man in the black suit. She couldn't watch; she spun around on her bar stool and focused on the game of pool currently being played.

A tap on her shoulder startled her and she spun back around on her bar stool.

"He says his name is Seeley" said Robby, yelling a little too loudly for as close as he was to her ear.

Brennan looked across the bar and their eyes met. Her mouth dropped open in unison with his.

Before her brain could process what was happening, she saw him stand up and start making his way across the room. Her instincts said to run, but in 3 inch heels and in her current state, she knew that was impossible. She looked at Robby and then back towards the man who was now just several feet from her.

"Bones…?"

"Hello Booth… "

…_.if there's anything i've learned_

_all these years on my own_

_it's how to find my own way there_

_and how to find my own way back home_

**A/N~ SO! I hope I didn't get to confusing there. Next up is the big chapter ;) I should have it posted sometime later today... keep those reviews coming!**_  
_


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N~ Ok, sorry about the *slight* delay; I will try to keep updating daily from here on out. I came down with a horrible cold and the Nyquil has kept me way too loopy to focus on writing! I meant to keep this all in one chapter, but it just got longer than I liked, so I split it up. BUT, I am posting them both, so you won't have to wait :)**

**Thanks SO much to everyone who has reviewed this story! I really do appreciate it! Just looking at the views to this story is shocking, WOW! Thanks guys :P**

**Lyrics in this chapter from "Circle of light" by Ani DiFranco**

**Chapter 4**

_standing just outside_

_the circle of light_

_avoiding the pool cues_

_watching the game_

_waiting for you_

_hanging in the doorway_

_like smoke_

_like mistletoe_

_this is where i'll be_

_whenever you come or go…_

Booth reached out to grab her hand and she drew it back, instinctively. She sighed "I am slightly intoxicated" then she reached back for the bar stool, grasping only air and stumbling backwards.

Booth grabbed her arm and pulled her back upright.

"Do you want to… talk?"

"I don't think it's the best time" she said, slurring her words a bit.

The look on Booth's face was hard to place; some combination of panic, relief, and shock. He placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her over to a table in the far corner "let's just sit for a minute".

Brennan followed his lead, sitting down across from him. She had played this scene over and over in her head, although it was never this blurry, and she could not remember what she had planned to say, had this occasion ever occurred.

"Booth… I … don't feel as though I am in the correct… state of mind to engage in this conversation right now".

Booth nodded in agreement. "Do you live here; in this town?"

"Yes, my home is only a short walk from here" said Brennan, propping her elbow up on the table top, and resting her face in her hand.

"Would you like to walk me home? I believe it is time to call it a night".

Booth nodded and stood up, reaching his hand out for her to hold on to.

Brennan stood and grabbed on to his shoulder to support herself. They walked towards the door and out into the night.

When they got to the end of the sidewalk, Brennan pointed up the hill, directly across from the road. "It's the 4th house on the left" she said quietly.

Booth put his arm around her as they made their way up the hill. He was still shocked at how absolutely surreal this all seemed to him. He felt as though he was outside of his body, watching this encounter from afar. For a moment he questioned whether or not this was happening at all.

They soon arrived at the front porch of Brennan's home. She handed Booth her keys to unlock the door as she leaned up against the side of the house. When the door was open and the living room light was on Brennan followed Booth into her home.

"Where are you staying; at the Bed and Breakfast?"

Booth nodded as he looked around the house at all the unfamiliar possessions.

"You can sleep here if you would like, I sleep on the couch often and I find that it is equal in comfort to my bed".

Booth agreed without hesitation. He had been trying to figure out exactly how to keep her from getting out of his sight as it was, so spending the night was a fantastic offer. No way had he wanted to give her room to run.

"There is a blanket on the couch and… I am going to go my bedroom" said Brennan, removing her jacket and placing it on the coat rack near the door.

Booth followed her with his eyes as she walked carefully past the kitchen.

~x~

Booth removed his jacket and tie, throwing them over the recliner next to the couch. He sat down and started to untie his shoes, placing each one at the foot of the recliner. He unbuttoned his shirt and then the cuffs, pulling it off slowly and slinging it towards the side of the recliner.

Booth exhaled and put his hands behind his head, leaning back onto the couch. As exhausted as he was from the long drive earlier that day, he seriously doubted that he would be able to sleep.

~x~

Brennan awoke suddenly to the sound of snoring. Through her pounding headache, she went over the events of the night before.

She distinctly remembered winning a game of pool, then having a celebratory drink with Robby. After that, the night blurred and as the sound of snoring blended with her thoughts, she sat straight up in bed.

She was still wearing her black dress, and her shoes were haphazardly tossed across the other side of the bed. Standing up, she felt the coldness of the hardwood floors beneath her feet. She reached under her bed to retrieve her slippers, and placing them on her feet she slowly opened her bedroom door, peering out into the living room.

~x~

Booth jumped at the sound of something creaking. He sat up, rubbing his eyes; he glanced around the room, trying to let his eyes adjust to the darkness.

He made out the figure of a woman sitting in the recliner near the couch.

"Bones…" he said quietly.

"I am sorry I woke you" she said, starting to rise out of the recliner.

"No, Bones, don't leave… can we talk, please?"

Bones answered by turning on the lamp sitting on the end table next to the couch. Booth squinted as the light filled the room.

"I will fix us some coffee" said Brennan, standing up and walking towards the kitchen.

Booth turned slightly so he could watch her walk across the room. He stood up and followed behind her "you got anything to eat Bones?"

~x~

Brennan scooped coffee into the filter as she watched Booth walk up to the refrigerator. She certainly couldn't complain about the man standing in her kitchen, wearing only his dress pants and a brightly colored pair of plaid socks. The well defined lines of his muscular body caused Brennan to blush as she turned back to the coffee pot.

"Oh look… Thai!" said Booth, pulling the container out of the fridge.

"NO, Booth, don't eat that!" exclaimed Brennan, pulling the container out of his hand and tossing it onto the counter. "It's old… and unless you would like a salad or some vegetable soup, I am afraid I don't have much here."

"Soup is fine" said Booth, opening the cabinets to find a bowl.

"I will get it ready Booth; you can go sit down if you want".

Booth nodded and headed back to the living room.

A few minutes later Brennan brought two bowls of soup in and set them on the coffee table. "I'll be right back with the coffee" she said, heading back to the kitchen.

When she returned, Booth had already finished half of his soup and was staring up at her smiling. She sat the two cups of coffee down on the table and took a seat next to Booth on the couch.

~x~

Booth couldn't believe how normal this felt. It was as if she had never left and the last 3 years had never happened. He felt completely comfortable sitting here with her.

"How is Hannah?" said Brennan, taking a sip of coffee and turning her body to face him.

Booth cocked his head and gave her a look "Hannah… I… well, I have no idea."

Brennan gave him a questioning look and took another sip of coffee. Booth could tell she was surprised, although trying to hide it.

"She… left me; it seems to be a regular occurrence when it comes to the women in my life" said Booth, in a somewhat joking tone.

He could tell immediately that Brennan had not found the humor in it.

She stared at her cup of coffee as if it was the most fascinating thing in the room. Booth rested his hand on her knee "awe Bones, I wasn't trying to upset you" he said, rubbing his hand from her knee to her lower leg as she sat cross legged on the couch, facing him.

"Booth…" she stopped and set her cup of coffee on the table.

"… I feel like I owe you an explanation…" she paused and stared at him, trying to read the expression on his face. "I felt I had gone over the entire situation. I had everything worked out, a plan; if you will. I know now that what I believed was rational and appropriate at the time… was actually my emotions getting the better of me. I must admit, I have regretted my decision numerous times, but I felt as though I had no choice but to continue on the path I had already taken. I didn't want to cause anyone any more pain…"

Booth stopped her and pulled her into a hug.

He felt her relax in his arms, and for a split second, the world surrounding him was perfect.

She pulled away, and he saw tears forming in her eyes.

"I never thought I would see you again" she choked out.

He again pulled her close to him, and she rested her head in the crook of his neck.

Booth held her for several minutes as she cried, he finally released her as she started to speak.

"I need a tissue" she said quietly, pushing up off the couch and heading towards the kitchen. She returned a few moments later, box in hand.

"Bones, I looked everywhere for you… I never gave up."

Booth's words caused her to begin crying again, and she reached for another tissue.

"I tried to make things work with Hannah, I tried to love her with all my heart; but she knew… somehow she knew she could never make me happy. She went back overseas… I have not spoken to her since."

Brennan continued to cry and she sobbed loudly with the realization that her assumptions this entire time had been incorrect.

"I always assumed…" she said tearfully.

Booth felt tears forming in his own eyes as he watched her cry.

"I always thought you were happy Booth; I left so that you could be happy" she sobbed.

Booth couldn't hold back his tears any longer and he began to cry too.

~X~

…_i don't have no grand plan_

_for you and me_

_just nothing is impossible_

_nothing is unlikely_

_i'm just riding the tide_

_nothing more_

_and it's bound to take me out some_

_before it brings me back to shore_


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N~ continuing on from exactly where the last chapter left off….**

**Lyrics from "Modulation" by Ani DiFranco**

**Chapter 5**

_in order to _

_say thank you to you_

_i must do it intentionally_

_but tonight with every breath_

_i can feel my death_

_sure as i can feel my knees_

A few minutes passed, both of them sitting on the couch, holding on to each other as if it were the only thing in the world that mattered.

The tears began to subside, and Booth broke the silence "Bones, I have a feeling things are going to get better; from here on out, I can feel it in my gut."

Brennan raised her head, tears staining her red face she started to object; remind Booth that his gut knew nothing of the future, but she stopped herself and instead she nodded her head in agreement; she felt it too.

Booth's face broke into a smile and Brennan offered a weak smile in response.

She question herself silently; how could he ever forgive her for leaving, how could he forgive her for running away?

Booth seemed to read her mind. "Bones, it's all my fault."

She glared at him, waiting for him to continue while she formulated a response.

"I should have given you time. I should have waited for you. I was just so hurt; I needed to fill my heart and my mind with something to take the pain away…. Hannah was just so easy, she was easy to love. But… she never had my heart; it already belonged to you."

Brennan had no idea how to respond. All the sentences she had formulated in her mind seemed unworthy. She took his hand in hers and she squeezed it, she shook her head as if to disagree, but no words came to her.

"I disagree" she started.

He looked up at her.

"I questioned what I felt… for… for you. I was scared Booth. I was scared to make myself vulnerable to being hurt; and then when I realized how I truly felt, it was too late… and you confirmed that."

"We missed our moment; and I know I can never expect for things to be the way they were Booth, but I want you in my life."

Booth placed his hand under her chin and tilted her head up, their eyes meeting "Bones, now that I've found you, I am never going to let you go again."

Brennan smiled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. She ran her fingers through her hair and looked down at her dress, wrinkled and disheveled. "I'm going to change" she said quietly, standing up and walking towards her bedroom.

Booth followed her with his eyes; he was in an emotional overload. He took another sip of his coffee and suddenly had a surge of courage course through his body.

Standing up, he made his way to the bedroom door. He saw her standing there, wearing only a camisole and a pair of pajama pants; reaching for her nightgown hung over the closet door.

He entered the room; she looked over at him startled.

He walked towards her with urgency, crashing into her with all the passion he had held back for so many years. He lifted her up, pushing her back against the closet door; his mouth met hers in a hungry kiss, moans escaping both of them.

She put her arms around his neck; her legs around his waist. Breathlessly, they kissed; her hands running through his hair, his holding on to her for dear life.

He pulled his mouth from hers, lowering his head to her neck and kissing her porcelain skin. She let out a moan and pulled herself closer to him.

He shifted the weight of her body in his arms, pulling her away from the door and lowering her onto the bed. She looked up into his eyes "…don't stop" she whispered.

He pulled at her shirt as she lifted her upper body, allowing it to be removed and quickly discarded. He kissed her, passionately and let his lips move from her mouth, trailing down her neck to her chest. She let out a groan and he removed her pants as she reached to undo his belt; unbuttoning his pants in the process.

He kissed her again, sending chills throughout her body as he pushed into her.

His eyes were wild and as she looked into them her apprehensions fell away, joining the clothing strewn across the floor.

~x~

After, they slept; Booth awaking only because he could hear the sound of his cell phone ringing in the other room. He glanced down at her sleeping peacefully, her head on his chest and her arm draped across his stomach.

Glancing over at the alarm clock on her bedside table, he realized that Robinson was most likely wondering where in the hell he was. He tried to move from beneath her, carefully so as not to wake her. She moaned and rolled over on her side she started to stretch and yawn. Booth sat back down on the bed and took her hand in his, he kissed her on the forehead and she smiled at him.

"That was… amazing" she said, pulling herself up. He nodded and pulled her to him, embracing her and wishing he could stay here with her in his arms forever.

He kissed the top of her head, wrapping his arms around her tighter he whispered "It was… more than that".

A few minutes passed as they held each other. Booth knew he had to get up, get dressed and call Robinson. He kissed her once more and let go, standing up and collecting the items of clothing he had discarded hours before.

She looked up at him, as if she was questioning his motives.

"I am here on a case, Bones, I have go find Robinson, he has my car.."

She nodded as he continued

"If it wasn't important; if lives were not at stake here, I wouldn't go."

She smiled and stood up, wrapping the sheet around her in a show of modesty, causing Booth to chuckle.

She walked towards him and hugged him, burrowing her face into his chest. "Will you come back… tonight?" She asked

He nodded, hugging her and kissing her forehead "I told you Bones, you're never getting rid of me again."

_...you were my modulation_

_so that's what you will always be_

_we took each other higher_

_we set each other free..._

**A/N~ So… I hope I pulled that off well enough :P Don't worry, the story doesn't end here… Updates soon!**


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